Dear Colin Firth,
I want to know If I can call you ‘Colin’ from now on? I feel I sort of know you….well, on a purely superficial level of course. I don’t know you like your wife, or your best friend, but I know your work!. I know you as ‘Darcy’…. ohhhh you are but the only Fitzwilliam Darcy for me!! Sorry, um, I keep bringing up your characters from the past, but you must know many people began reading Jane Austen after you took on the role? tis wonderful that you inspired a new legion of Austen- ites. I have always loved reading Pride and Prejudice, and have seen many versions of it- I’m sure you don’t need to know this…. but you are to me, the epitome of Darcy and all that he represents to women- you played him aloof, yet hungry, you cast mystery about him, yet you made him kind. Dear oh dear, is it possible for any other man to take on that role and avoid comparisons – rather large shoes to fill – I do not in any way mean to imply your feet are large.. well, of course you know what I mean. I wish you would take on another Jane Austen novel. You would make a stunning Captain Wentworth or an interesting Knightly- although he requires an openly humorous face…oh joy!! just the thought of you in Austen era dress-up makes me want to dust off my dvd so I can watch you stare arrogantly at the Bennets, as if you really believed their inferiority. Sigh!!! I am getting carried away aren’t I? I somehow feel as though I would love to live in the 19th century, then again, I don’t know if I can live without toothpaste and regular showers.
So getting on a bit… you know when you played Lord Henry ‘Dashwood’ in ‘What a girl wants?’ what was that like? I mean you are a parent…. do you have daughters? is it fun to take on a role such as that? Oh I say, lucky Kelly Preston. I never really asked you about ‘Mama Mia?’ I bet it was a role that begged for your embrace – singing and dancing, lying on a boat and professing your love to a Greek god- type man? although you are a Greek god-type man yourself – was it as liberating as it looked when you were dancing in the rain? I have so much to ask you….