Colin Firth in the Kingsman: The Secret Service

Dear Colin,

I saw it. Well not it, exactly, but the trailer of it. Actually, I’ve seen three trailers of it. And by it, I mean the trailers for the Kingsman: The Secret Service

Could I possibly become one? a Kingsman that is. Or um, a Kingswoman?

You look fashionably dapper.There is that white shirt. Er, well, yes, of course there is. And there is an impressive umbrella, it seems to do all kinds of brilliant things.  I would very much like to carry one with me as a security device. A  fascinating role, this one is. I am so excited because you brought something of the old-fashioned gentleman to it. Very James Bond like, yet there was a hint of a different era about your character.

It is nice to see you kick up a storm.  A superhero sort of fight.  It’s not to say you can’t. It’s just when you kicked and punched Hugh Grant in the Bridget Jones films, I thought um, those fights were funny, and of course they were meant to be. In this film, you seem utterly transformed.  I read that you trained quite a bit; Thai kickboxing and Kung Fu.. and took lots of photos. Um, were they of your bruises then? How did you adjust physically and mentally to this role? There is something unique about mentoring a young man from the street, getting him out of trouble and showing him this new way of life – effectively becoming a top-secret spy.  You take a back seat, but go in to protect and guide your protege and battle a villain at the same time. Sort of like Alfred is to Batman. I like Alfred. He doesn’t really battle. Michael Caine is lovely by the way and Samuel L. Jackson makes a really good villain. The extended younger cast led by Taron Egerton is fantastic. The film has beautifully juxtaposed old school spying with modern technology. Is it something you’ve always wanted to do?

What was it like to play an international intelligence agent?  I know you aren’t really a top-secret super spy, but then again, I don’t know for certain. You could be. You look awfully convincing at it. In fact, your voice sort of lulled me into a soothing and deceptive sense of calm. Was that deliberate? a sense of safety in the role you play, I mean?

We have a release date. February 13, 2015. This Friday, actually. I will make sure everyone sees it. Well, not everyone. I don’t actually know everyone, I mean who does really. What I mean to say is that I will make sure everyone I know, goes to see it.

Can I just say that It has been perfectly lovely to see you on regular t.v.  I’ve seen three  film trailers, even a Superbowl commercial.  Well you know, I gripe about not seeing enough of your films in mainstream cinema, so I was genuinely excited. Um, not that you really know me, but I’m positive you understand the frustration. I would be willing to begin a campaign if you’d like. Perhaps you aren’t the campaign sort of person. You seem very low-key; no fuss about you really. When you are low-key, do you wear white?

Tina Fey, at the Golden Globes, made it very clear in a game of “would you rather” that she would rather… with you for a “few polite minutes.” I thought it was delightful. Tell you what I would rather do, I would rather sit down and have a cup of tea. I know it seems odd, the wanting to sit down and chat. But quite honestly, I’m more interested in the roles you take on, why you might choose one script over another, which roles speak to you and your humanitarian work of course. I would love to hear more of the work you and Livia do, to bring awareness to the plight of people around the world. I’m generally of the belief that we can all contribute our time, to make our planet safer and better for us all.

Do you drink Earl Grey or English breakfast or something more exotic and robust?  toast, marmalade? I love marmalade. Just like Paddington. I love that bear. I don’t actually drink a lot of tea, sorry. I drink hot chocolate. Would that be okay?



  1. When I saw the preview I was hoping it was a new TV series…. but alas no


    1. Oh, oh, that would be so much more exciting to see him on t.v. than going to the movies. But, to the movies I will go. I am not going to see that other one, ahem.. 50 shades of what? He virtually dances in the fight scenes – lots of lovely fighting kicks. Love it.


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